JANE THE HAMSTER’S DIARY

August 04, 2001

9:00 pm.

Boy, have I been waiting for this! It just seems the Thing would never let its guard down. Every night, just when things start to get interesting outside , it scoops me up and locks me away in my Home. But tonight’s the night. After months of careful preparations, this is it!

10:20 pm.

Woke up a little late, just to unsettle the daily routine slightly. Then pretended I had forgotten all about how to leave the cage the normal way via the front hatch. Chewed the cage bars a bit to show I really wanted to get out, though. Managed to look so stupid Thing began wondering whether I had suffered a stroke with ensuing memory loss.

10:30 pm.

Hah! Stupid Thing fell for it and opened up back hatch to get me out that way instead. Let Thing do that, hoping it would forget about closing spare hatch afterwards. (Easy, since constant wriggling makes necessary for Thing to use both hands when taking me out of Home, and Thing isn't really good at keeping two thoughts in head at same time.)

10:45 pm.

On daily standard tour of livingroom. Have to play a bit with the Thing to reassure it. Hope it didn't notice extra trembling with anticipation, which has been hard to hide last few days.

10:55 pm.

Checking out the stupid cardboard wall Thing has erected around object of escape: The Fabulous Couch. Have already established on numerous occasions that wall is possible to break through, given time, so trying to seem uninterested today and just check for any new additions to the wall. No extra precautions. Good! Who wants to live in Home when Fabuluos Couch is much larger and is filled with soft, springy stuff waiting to be teared apart?

11:30 pm.

Oh, great, here comes the Ball... May as well have a bit of a run-around on the off chance it will open up in one of the other rooms, as it did once before. Not more preparations for Big Escape possible anyway.

11:58 pm.

Ball still intact. Thing picks it up and returns me to livingroom. I play extra stupid getting out of the ball, also, to confuse things.

11:59 pm.

Can't believe it! Thing fell for that too! Has opened up front hatch since easier to lower me into Home that way!

12:00 am.

Hmmm... Home smells all new today, again. Well, that's another reason to escape. Things really have a nerve, forcing us to redecorate our Homes every week.

12:02 am.

Thing turns off the Sun and leaves room.

How do they do that?

12:03 am.

Up cage side, onto ledge, up spare hatch. IM OUTTA HERE.

12:10 am.

Escape already paying off: Stupid Thing has left massive amount of yummy crisp bread lying around outside Home - about two weeks rations worth!! Boy, am I going to enjoy this… Before I do anything else, I’m going to push this down onto the floor… You never know how much food is out there…

1:10 am.

Ouch. Feel a little dizzy. Am obviously on floor now, but not quite clear as to how I got here from Home up on the table. Anyway, nothing broken, it seems.

1:15 am.

Bugger. Thing didn’t forget to close the Door, so going to Kitchen is out of the question. Well, still have my square of crisp bread.

1:20 am.

Bugger. Just discovered impossible to climb up to Home again without Thing’s help. Bugger. Not that I want to, now, but… still… can’t deny there are lots of neat stuff in Home…

1:30 am.

Attacking wall around Fabulous Couch. Have discovered that if you push hard in the middle, then bite one of the corners viciously, crack may open up. But you have to dig away like crazy for a while first.

1:40 am.

I’m in!

2:00 am.

Bit confused now. Normally get into the couch by fooling Thing into picking me up, then escaping onto top of. Now, I’m beneath, and somehow can’t get enough of a grip on the upholstery to climb up myself. Maybe it’s that sand bath, shortening my nails too much. Should have known there was some dirty trick to that. Bugger.

2:10 am.

Well, beneath Couch is kind of nice, but no real Home feeling here. Anyway, have hidden Crisp bread in place where Thing will never find it. Hah!

2:20 am.

Eaten a lot of crisp bread. Kind of thirsty now.

2:45 am.

Bugger. Never noticed complete lack of water on floor level before. Bugger.

4:00 am.

Quite thirsty now. Beginning to think this was perhaps not such a good idea after all.

4:10 am.

This place is beginning to look boringly familiar by now. Also tired of crisp bread.

7:00 am.

Dozed off for a while there. Thinking about gnawing through some speaker cables just to annoy Thing, but am quite full and still too thirsty.

8:00 am.

Hear sounds in room now. Think briefly about running into secluded corner and hiding, but then realize I don’t really want to.

8:10 am.

Sounds coming closer. Wall is being removed. Guess the game’s up. Peekaboo!

8:15 am.

Glunk - glunk - glunk - aaahh! Nothing like a topped-up water bottle!

8:20 am.

Well, that was a nice outing, but that nest sure looks comfy. ’Night all!